When I was growing up, I don’t ever remember my parents telling me that they loved me. But yet, I knew that I was loved. There was never a doubt in my mind that they loved me.
Now, how is that? How is it possible that someone can know that they’re loved without the other person ever saying those words to them? Well, in life, we don’t know people by their words. Words count for something up to a point. But we don’t really get to know people by the things that they say. We get to know them by the way they live and the way they treat us. And that is where the truth really comes out. Jesus of Nazareth said it this way: He said, “You’ll know them by their fruits.” So, we know people by the way they behave. Always believe behaviour, not just words.
When you get to know someone and you begin to see that their words line up with their behaviour, then you can begin to trust those words. But until those words have been tested by putting them next to the behaviour, words are not really the thing that show us.
So, words are important. We need words. But the way we treat people – it’s much more powerful. It carries much more weight in a relationship than just the things that we say.
Of course, that doesn’t mean that we can just be rude and say whatever we want and not care about the person’s feelings. It’s not saying that. But what it is saying is, my words and my behaviour need to be congruent. They need to line up. Because that’s what makes me credible.
And so, whatever relationship you have, it’s good to say nice things. We shouldn’t stop saying nice things. But remember, it’s the way you make people feel that lingers. It’s the way you make people feel that is really what they remember.
They don’t always remember the things you said. They don’t always remember the things that you did. But they always remember how you make them feel.
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